Dental Practice Heroes
Where dentists learn how to cut clinical days while increasing profits - without sacrificing patient care, cutting corners, or cranking volume. We teach you how to grow a scalable practice through communication, leadership, and effective management.
Hosted by Dr. Paul Etchison, author of two books on dental practice management, dental coach, and owner of a $6M collections group practice in the south suburbs of Chicago, we provide actionable advice for practice owners who want to intentionally create more time to enjoy their families, wealth, and deep personal fulfillment.
If you want to build a scalable practice framework that no longer stresses, drains, or relies on you for every little thing, we will teach you how and share stories of other dentists who have done it!
Dental Practice Heroes
Why Your Practice Keeps Taking From You
Ever felt that mounting frustration when someone keeps crossing a line you never actually drew? That's exactly what happens in dental practices without clear boundaries. When you're constantly putting out fires, feeling resentful toward team members, or watching work bleed relentlessly into your personal time, it's not just about difficult people—it's about undefined limits.
The truth is uncomfortable but liberating: your practice will take whatever you allow it to take. Those late-night texts from team members, patients who expect weekend emergency care despite ignoring your treatment recommendations for years, staff who consistently arrive late to morning huddles—these aren't just isolated annoyances. They're symptoms of boundary deficiency.
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Take Control of Your Practice and Your Life
We help dentists take more time off while making more money through systematization, team empowerment, and creating leadership teams.
Ready to build a practice that works for you? Visit www.DentalPracticeHeroes.com to learn more.
Have you ever met someone who doesn't take the hint? You try to be nice, you hint at your limits, you try to drop these little subtle cues and say this is what I don't like that you're doing and this is what I expect from you, but you just want to rip your hair out because they just don't get it and they keep pushing until you finally say something direct and nobody likes it. That is what it's like when you don't set boundaries with people. But I want to talk about today setting boundaries with your practice. If you've ever felt resentment towards your team, if you've ever felt frustration that you're always the one putting out the fires, doing so much, or burnout because work just keeps bleeding into your personal life, well, this episode is for you. We are talking about boundaries not just with people. We're talking about boundaries with the practice and how that relates to leading our team, to creating a practice that amplifies our lives instead of taking from it. For those who don't know me, I'm Dr Paul Etchison and you are listening to the Dental Practice Heroes podcast. I am the author of two books on dental practice management, I'm a dental coach and I'm also the owner of a large group practice in the south suburbs of Chicago. My mission is to teach other dental owners how to organize and run their practice in a way that gives them freedom, more money, more time and lets them live the lives that they want to live, no matter what that is. So if you want your dental practice to be the foundation of your amazing life, but not the focal point in the top priority, you are at the right place. So today we're talking about boundaries.
Speaker 1:I want to share a story that reflects this very recently for me. Now, I am an avid reader. You guys all know that I read like crazy. I used to be all 100% Kindle. Right now I'm about 50% Audible, 50% Kindle. One thing I don't like about Audible is it's hard to highlight things. So I often find myself taking notes in little notebooks and stuff and sometimes it's hard to do if you're listening in the dark.
Speaker 1:But I just listened to this book called the Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban and this was recommended to me by somebody. And it starts off. It talks about relationships and it talks about the people in your life and the things that you let them do and expectations and stuff. But the more I read this, the more I realized dude, I have really got a problem with this. I mean, I suck at setting boundaries.
Speaker 1:You know, we were just saying the other day at the practice why do I have so many pain in the ass patients? What is it about these pain in the ass patients that love me to death. They love the way that I treat them, they love the way I take care of them and they're like, doc, I love you so much I want to send you all my pain in the ass. Friends, and they do that. I get more pain in the ass people. And what it is is I don't set boundaries. I am big on, hey, when this patient gets here, I'm going to tell them this. I'm going to tell them I'm not doing that. I'm going to tell them that this is their fault and blah, blah, blah. And then I walk in the room and I'm like yes, sir, yes, ma'am, anything you want, what do you want? I will do. I will bend over backwards for you, and it's not just with patience for me, it's with the practice, it's with my team. I'm going to be in town next weekend and I want to get my teeth cleaned.
Speaker 1:You know, my first reaction was like why does anyone text me to get them appointments. They know I have people at the practice that do this. This is their job. Right in front of them They've got a telephone and right next to them they've got a computer. And guess what's on the computer? You're not going to believe it. It's our schedule. They can schedule an appointment for you. You don't need to text me.
Speaker 1:And I'm just getting all pissed off about it. Why would he do this? Oh my gosh, I'm not going to respond to this. I'm going to wait a day and a half to respond to this, because this is just unreal. And then it occurred to me have I ever, ever, ever, ever explained that I won't do it? No, I have never said it, I've never put up that boundary. So I just politely texted back hey, totally understand. If you want an appointment, please call the office. They are the people that will schedule you, not me. We're open tonight until eight. And he said thanks, no problem. And then he texted me back like four minutes later Cool, got an appointment next week. Thanks so much. Perfect, easy peasy. Lemon to the squeezy Bro.
Speaker 1:Why was I getting so mad? And it's because I have this expectation that everybody should see things my way. And that is not the way the world works. We have to politely and kindly establish boundaries in our lives and, oh my God, these past two weeks I have seen it come up so much, and you know what I see it in people around me. I think this is a big problem for a lot of people. So if you're looking for a book to read that, maybe you need. It's the book of boundaries by Melissa Urban. The boundaries that we establish are critical to the relationship that we have with people, and just like a relationship with people, we also have a relationship to our dental practice, and that requires boundaries to be healthy as well. The practice will take what you allow it and it will keep taking more from you if you don't define the limits.
Speaker 1:Are you willing to come in early for a patient? Will you stay late for a patient? What if someone really wants their veneers and they got this wedding coming up? Do you think you could come in early for a patient? Will you stay late for a patient? What if someone really wants their veneers and they got this wedding coming up? Do you think you could come in on your day off? What about this person that you told they need an endo and then they went away for two years and they call you and they're in so much pain and it's Saturday afternoon. Are you going to go in for that person? Don't you love those people? They call you and they say, hey, I'm in a lot of dental pain, I'm not a patient at your practice, but my dentist can't get me until Monday. So I'm calling you to see if you'll pull your ass out of whatever you're doing with your life. Remove yourself from that and come take care of me. Who's never been a patient at your practice, had no intention of ever coming to your practice until today, when my dentist couldn't hook it up for me.
Speaker 1:We get those calls. What are you going to do? What is the boundary that you're going to put there? If we don't establish what we're willing to do and what we're not willing to do, the practice will continue to take, and that has been my experience with my life, with my practice. I have had many, many situations that I'm thinking back after reading this book and saying man, you know that was a boundary situation that was caused by boundaries. That was caused by boundaries. So I want you to think about this is, when you're establishing a boundary. It's not mean, you know, you wish you didn't have to do it. You wish people would just take the hints, but the fact of the matter is we can't expect them to do that, and if we do, we're always going to be disappointed. So clear is kind, clarity is kindness, and this applies to your team. You've got to set clear expectations. You can't just have vague frustrations.
Speaker 1:I work with so many dental offices. They say they're really pissing me off. You know, I don't know why you have to ask them to do this and that. And so I'll say to them okay, well, what do you want them to do? Like, what are their responsibilities? Well, I don't know. They're like the front desk. They should be doing this, I know, but have you had that conversation with them? And it's always no. The conversation has never been happened, because we just want people to show up and know what they're doing and do all the things we want to do without asking them. Which is why we often look for people when we hire them for experience, because then we think we don't need to tell them how to do anything. They'll figure it out. They already know what to do. So I want you to say you know clearness is kindness, clarity is kindness. You have to be clear with your team. It's just really not fair to resent your team for doing things that you never directly told them to do or not to do. You know boundaries don't have to be confrontational. Boundaries is like you are establishing the way that everyone can work to be happy, and when you put up a boundary with a member of your team, they can also put up a boundary with you. The ball is in their court and they can say what they're willing to do and hopefully you can find something where it works within everybody's boundaries.
Speaker 1:I want to share something with you from the book Melissa Urban. She talks about there's green, yellow and red boundaries. Okay, and what this means is like this is the severity of the need for a boundary. Green is like hey, you know, it's the first time it happened. It's like a gentle nudge. It's like, hey, you know, we talked about this, make sure you get to the morning huddle on time. Okay, just a nice gentle nudge. Then you have to get to yellow, and then it's like hey, you know, I've brought this up with you before about getting to the huddle on time. I really need you to be on the huddle on time, because it's important for us as a team. We're all working together. We have the social obligation to everybody and it looks really bad for me as a leader when I allow you to show up late. So can you please make sure you're here on time so that we can have our meeting and be ready for the day to take great care of our patients. That's yellow Now. If it keeps happening, this is where we have to get to red. I've talked to you numerous times about being on time to the huddle. You have continually been late. You were late again yesterday. Just letting you know this is important to me. If you're late again, we're going to have to talk about your future employment here. And that's red.
Speaker 1:Now, notice we don't go straight to red. The red is harsh. The red is like this is what I want and this is what I'm willing. But all three of those stages were clear, and this is where we get screwed up a lot. As leaders, we set the boundaries. Sometimes, we tell the team what we want them to do, but then we don't hold them accountable. And then you have practice. Owners say hey, I have no accountability at my office. You've got to hold the team accountable through these boundaries green, yellow and red.
Speaker 1:Think about a situation in your practice where maybe you need to throw up that green boundary, maybe you need to throw up that yellow boundary. What I often see in my coaching clients is they're at the point where they want to throw up that red boundary and they've completely skipped that green and yellow right. They just want to go straight to the red because they're so freaking frustrated and there's so much resentment at that point already. Don't let it get that far. Throw up the green one, throw up the yellow one. What is important to you will become important to your team, and if they can't make it important to them, they're on the wrong team. That's okay. That doesn't make them a bad person. They got to find their happy place and it's not at your practice.
Speaker 1:So think about areas in your practice. I want you to sit there and say what frustrates me at my practice. What am I getting the most frustrated by? But what are you doing? Are you constantly working at night? Are you having team members text you on Friday night about something they should probably wait until Monday to talk to you about? Like, hey, I have a problem with somebody else at work and I was thinking about it. Now I want to talk to you about it on Monday. No, then talk to me about it on Monday, I don't need to know Friday.
Speaker 1:Okay, there was a certain point in time where this drove me crazy and I eventually said to my team hey, you got me Monday, tuesday, wednesday and Thursday until 5 PM. After Thursday at 5 PM I am not available and I will not be responding to your texts. Guess what happens if they text after that time and you respond Well, you just let your boundary down. You put up your boundary but you didn't enforce it. And just like everything at the practice, we need boundaries with time. We need boundaries with the systems. What kind of procedures are you willing to do? What kind of things do you refer out? What is your policies at the office and what do you allow your patients to do? And if you're having to enforce a policy, do you allow your team to not enforce the policy?
Speaker 1:Talk about cancellation policies. I was talking about one about two weeks ago, how we're changing the way we're doing it in our practice. We had an all day meeting. I told my team this is what I want. They were not that happy about it. I want them to really enforce the policy, and I get it. You know they're worried about how the patients are going to react. They don't want to have upset patients. But the fact of the matter is I told them hey guys, I get it, I is. I told them hey guys, I get it. I know we have the verbal skills to do this. This is super important to me and we're going to figure out as a team how to do it. But I need everyone that works here to be comfortable doing this. So what I'm saying is hey, we're going to learn how to do this. If we can't learn how to do this, you're not going to be on this team. I'm being very clear with what I'm able, willing to accept, and there was a long time that I was accepting that we weren't enforcing our cancellation policy. I talked to the team about my expectations and now I'm going to hold them to it and I'm going to give that green boundary a second that I see somebody not doing it.
Speaker 1:So it's about prevention. When we're clear, we are preventing these situations from happening. It's not like a punishment. I don't want you to think of boundaries as a punishment. It's about preventing things from happening. It's about telling people how you want to be treated, and when you don't do this, you get that resentment. You build up the resentment and then you blow up on somebody about something that isn't even at the core of the issue. Your culture erodes at your practice and then your patients. They feel that too. They can feel the culture.
Speaker 1:So I want you to do this week is I want you to ask yourself what frustrates you about your team, what frustrates you about your practice, and I want you to write it down. Write it down on a piece of paper. And then, when you write it down, I want you to write down who does it affect, because I think that's super important for you to conceptualize that before you address it is who does it affect? Does it affect the patients? Does it affect the hygienist? Does it affect the front desk? Does it affect you? Does it affect your family? Like, think about this.
Speaker 1:Then I want you to ask yourself what do I want in this area of my practice? What is the expectation I want to be fulfilled? And then explain that to the people involved and explain what you want them to do. Now you've been clear. Now you have to follow up on it and you may need to put a boundary. You may be one of those people that don't put a boundary, so your team just thinks oh yeah, you know, he doc just came back from a class and now he wants to do all this new stuff. But you know this will fizzle out in a week because they know you're not going to follow through. You have to follow through. If you don't follow through, that means you created a boundary without a consequence, and if there's no consequence, it's not really a boundary, it's just a suggestion.
Speaker 1:So, closing up, if you're looking for ways to do things at your practice, you're looking for what are these boundaries? What is the right way to answer the phone? What is the right way to run your practice? That's what the Omni Practice Program is about, and if you want that training, you go to dentalpracticeheroescom. It's all there for you and your team so that you guys can all be on the same page. Create the systems and documents and protocols so that everybody knows what to do, when to do so. You don't have to ask each other did you do this? Things are getting done, expectations set, and that's how a well-run practice should work. Thank you so much for listening. I very much appreciate you and we will talk to you next time.
